Monthly Archive: September 2020
Cro-Magnon went extinct from not being able to keep their massive 19 to 41 inch penises erect long enough to you know what — “Kinda hot and sad”, Bill Nye tweeted
All street lights by 2022 will look like they’re from 1937 thanks to the new MAGA LAW passed by both the house and senate
For the first time since Freddie Mercury left us, California’s skyline ended its day with rainbow clouds prompting religious scholars to hypothesize that he finally made it to Heaven with, both, Muhammad and Jesus
Due to the possibility of AI inventing a time machine, a new law has been implemented allowing sexual intercourse with pre-humans, because scientists think we may find them irresistible which got the senate to come back from recess a week early
Man sues Apple for just under 218 million dollars after his Frequently Visited section called him the second worst f-word
“It’s almost as bad as incest” is what someone yelled at us regarding the new Instagram Reels trend known as SWGS (sex with giant salamanders). We disagree. Incest is way better
Over 74,000 people sign petition for UK supermarket chain ASDA to change its name to Ass Duh
Millions of doggie diapers have been recalled for having the tail hole an inch too low
GoFundMe launched for man whose ladder was stolen
Grass long enough to tickle even the tallest of noses might be the left’s best way to get the religious right on board with climate change
Merriam and Webster are blaming each other after Blackface was chosen as the word of the day
Police sketch artist fired for drawing everybody as a character in a Cars movie
The oldest elevator in North Dakota still has its original communal handkerchief
Party City just released their new costumes for Halloween 2020 and sexy burlap lamp shade is already out of stock
Netflix apologizes for only having one black kid on Stranger Things or is it in Stranger Things ah who cares their apology wasn’t authentic anyways
YouTube video titled Best Memes 2019 spliced in Nazi propaganda, but nobody noticed until it was too late
Uncle Ben’s changes name, but keeps apostrophe until people learn of its origin
Lip Smacker sued for selling thawed out FROZEN lip balm, forcing Disney to make the F in Frozen the only capital letter
