Stuck in a bathroom with a bad guy on the other side? Experts say to use a hinge pin to shove in eye and then run out screaming, because those same experts say not even a bad guy wants to deal with a person who would do such a thing
Lightbulb shortage forces some people to make television lamps
Cannabis is no longer allowed in Los Angeles Zoo after a lady throws weed infused sardines at dolphin and of course that dude got super high maaaan
Cherry pie is sometimes filled with prunes soaked in red #17, so if you feel a bit gassy after a few slices, you’ll know why
Human penile girth is shrinking worldwide and this is gonna sound crazy but a dolphin in a Tanzanian zoo might know why
There’s only one lying dog faced pony soldier in this photo and it’s definitely the guy wearing sunglasses (unless he’s blind, then he is a gift from God)
TMZ bought a phone owned by the late great Herman Cain and some of the texts are a bit sinful
Megyn Kelly hates black licorice almost enough to join KKK without written approval from husband
Male Gynecologists will all be cancelled by 2023, scatter plot hypothesizes
John Basetow’s nephew starts “All Abs Matter” movement after developing Messiah Complex at spiritual gathering
Cups with built-in straws are too big to fit inside a turtle’s mouth, unless it bites off the straw part
Bye bye dishwashers. Hello using silicone dishes and washing them in a washer and drying them in a dryer. Nice to meet you, you’re a very good idea
Jeff Bezos’ shower has a bed for daily prostate enhancement
No crowd, no problem says one high school football coach. “We’ll fill the seats with cans of biscuits. They will all grow and explode with time, as do we all, and they’ll explode at different times for maximum fun. Donations accepted at all Kroger locations til next Tuesday. GOOO AARDVARKS!”
Limited Edition MyPillow™ has 12 different types of feathers
Top Wikipedia contributor busted for re-using photo of dark urine sample
Longest piece of baby corn ever recorded found inside can in Sudan by a blind man visiting from a far away land
Trump: “Boo all you want. Gunsmoke was better than Bonanza.”
